Immigrant Spouses: Blending Your Lives Successfully

Whether through a work assignment in a foreign country or a special relationship sparked during travel, or an online dating service, thousands of American men and women are finding love outside the U.S. If you're bringing a foreign spouse to America, here are some helpful tips for successfully blending your lives once they're here.

Throw Out the Stereotypes

Americans dating or marrying someone from another country are often shocked at the stereotypes subscribed to by friends and family. For example, many Americans believe Asian brides to be quiet and submissive, something an outspoken Asian businesswoman might be shocked to learn. Even if you don't believe those caricatures to be true, allowing them to trap your new spouse into a cultural box will limit his or her connection to the people in your life.

Set aside any cultural stereotypes you each may have learned and commit to looking at each other as individuals. Never assume your own culture to be superior, no matter how impoverished your new mate's background. Removing those cultural barriers as a couple can shorten the period of adjustment for your spouse and deeply enrich your new marriage.

It's Time to Talk About Religion

Because religion plays a major role in many people's lives, the time to talk about it is before the wedding. While it's quite possible you share the same religious views as your foreign-born spouse, that isn't always the case. This is a good example of an area not everyone looking for love on an online dating service might consider.

Avoiding or glossing over the topic of religion can cause another obstacle to spring up in the path of marital bliss. It's much healthier to put your cards on the table and make decisions as a couple about such issues as whether you'll attend worship together and what religious holidays you'll celebrate. Again, your goal is a smooth transition into American life for your spouse; failing to mention your family's aversion to Buddhism simply isn't playing fair.

Define Parenting Philosophy

It's at least a reasonable possibility that your marriage will result in children. Parenting roles vary widely among cultures, for example, your spouse may have come from a place where girls are expected to marry young. Her entire family may have worked together to prepare her for her youthful marriage.

If, on the other hand, your sisters chose not to marry in favor of a career, there could be trouble ahead if you haven't discussed how you as a couple will raise your own daughters. Like religion, the best time to discuss this topic is as you're moving toward marriage. If you haven't, start the conversation soon so parenting issues won't stymie your transition from couple to family.

Whether your spouse is coming to America from China, Pakistan or South Africa, blending yourselves together as a couple takes work. Have the discussions about the hard issues, and don't accept the cultural stereotypes of others. Create your own culture as a couple and celebrate what makes each of you unique. In that way, your lives can blend together without destroying the reasons you fell in love in the first place.

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About the Author

Chris Robertson is a published author of Majon International. All Rights Reserved. Copyright 2009 (Mon Jun 15 2009) Majon International. Majon International is one of the worlds MOST popular internet marketing and internet advertising companies on the web. Visit their main business resource web site at: http://majon.com